Jani's Story

Jani was a beautiful, 19 year-old girl from Provo, Utah. She was intelligent, energetic and had a great life ahead of her. But she also had a ‘monster’ in her closet. She made a decision that cost her everything, including her life. 

Jani's dealer contacted her 37 times before her first overdose. He was literally ‘hunting’ her to sell his product. I contacted the authorities and gave them her dealer’s addresses, cell phone numbers, and license plate numbers, as well as up dates with the location of his last heroin sales. For the next four months I tried everything I could think of to get him off the streets. All I seemed to get from my efforts were a lot of negative feelings and frustration. Shortly after, I was struck with an inspired thought. I decided to put a bounty on Jani's dealer. I told several people who had reportedly seen him dealing in the past months that I was offering a reward to whoever made the call that got him arrested. Four hours later he was in jail!

In late September, an E.R. doctor and I both explained to Jani that if she used heroin again she would die. The addiction monster overrides logic, love and conscience. Jani did not want to die. Consciously she did not want to use heroin. But the monster got out of the closet. It took her. Jani died on October 1st, 2006.

Dad,
Lance Merrill

Carlo's story

Carlo has always been a great kid. He had a heart of gold. He was a protector of persons, always looking out for the underdog. Carlo was strong; born with a body builders physic, and was the best at anything he set out to do. He loved video games and electronics and planned to go to school to learn how to program games.

The main worry I had while Carlo was growing up was that he was acceptant of everyone. Like a chameleon, he was able to blend in with any lifestyle. He truly loved all of his friends.

This last year, Carlo stayed with his buddy in Salt Lake City. Carlo would always tell me that he was in control and wouldn't do anything stupid. I believed that Carlo had good judgement and wouldn't do anything that would be harmful. I knew that he would smoke pot and drink on occasion but was grateful that he didn't do the hard drugs. He made it sound like he was the designated driver when they went out and he was there helping his friend out until his friend got off of the pills the doctor had his friend hooked on from a brain surgery. On March 14, 2006 I got the phone call that Carlo had been found blue and they weren't able to save him. I had to wait almost 6 weeks before I found out that he had overdosed on methadone. Apparently, the doctors gave his friend methadone to help him wean off of the oxy-cotton. Why would these doctors give this stuff out like candy? Why would his friend share these monstrous pills with his best friend, my son, that was there to help him? Why would Carlo consider taking one? Who had control? The drugs did!. Does pot and alcohol alter your judgment? In my beautiful sons life, it must have because the son I knew, wouldn't have considered taking such a chance with his life. Invisible? Unfortunately not.

Also, if you are taking hard drugs, keep in mind; just because you survive once or twice, doesn't mean that they won't take your life the next time around.  Carlo's brother and sister and myself miss him tremendously. He was my baby, my buddy, and it is a hurt that I don't believe will ever heal.

Sad Mom,
Elizabeth

Scott's Story

Hello, My name is Niccole Laub, I had a brother that died of a Heroin overdose and I saw you on Fox 13 and again my feelings were brought to the surface. I am very happy to see that others are trying to make a difference. I have set up a site for my brother called http://www.scottreiser.com Please check it out. My brother was on a camping trip with his biological mother and was given heroin. He was on leave from the army, and came home for vacation. He never went back. He died of heroin use after becoming clean, and toook the same amount he took years prior. His brain stem was crushed, and his mom neglected to get help until it was to late. He was then life flighted out the next morning from Strawberry Res. He was planning on going to UVSC, and going threw the police acadamy. He was a very decorated Warrior. There are also many pictures on their about what we have done. You may have seen my car around the area, I drive a red Hyundai Tiburon and on the side I have white lettering that says "Heroin kills" and my brothers birth and death date. And also for a while I had huge signes posted in my yard hanging from my trees. Anyway, I am very proud to be one of many who would like to get this horrible drug out of Utah county, and would be happy if you wanted to link my site to yours. I also would love to get a D.A.D.D.S. sticker for my car if you have any. Please keep in contact and thanks for your effort in this grueling task.

A loving sister,
Niccole Laub

Corinn's Story

Corinn was a beautiful, talented girl. She could dance, play guitar and piano, and was an extremely gifted artist. She had a sense of humor that was second to none. She was also my daughter and died at the age of 21. She has a brother, who was in Iraq at the time she passed, and an older sister.

She became addicted to heroin when she moved out at 19. She came to visit one day and OD'd right in front of me. I called 911 and revived her before the paramedics arrived. I wanted the police to arrest her, but they said there wasn't anything they could do. She OD'd one other time and spent some time in the hospital. Then she was placed in mandatory re-hab. After re-hab, she did great for a year or so. She had met a wonderful guy and had gotten married. He helped me keep a very close eye on her. Then one day, she called to tell me the great news that I was going to be a grandfather, my first grandchild! About 4 months iinto her pregnancy, her husband called and said he had come home from work and found her dead. I had lost one of my precious children, and a grandson at the same time. I tried everything I could, legal and illegal to keep the dealers away from her. They all know me and stay away from me, because they know how serious I am. I even had one of them on the ground one night with my 45 in his mouth. I scared him so much he pee'd his pants. The police have more of a workload than they can handle, and te way the laws are written, they're hands are pretty much tied. I have several friends that are cops, and I told them they should let people like me lay on rooftops and just eliminate them from society. I know this sounds harsh, but after what these monsters did to my family, I think it is getting off easy. I live in an ordinary, middle class suburb, and have an ordinary middle class job. All of you folks out there that think that this justy happens to inner city kids, or the rich spoiled kids had better wake up. It can and does happen in all walks of life, all races and all ages.

Name witheld

Jon Adduddell's Story

My brother died March,25 2008. He was a great kid. He always had a big smile and a big heart. He had a drug problem for years. He was dating a girl who loved to party and felt like he had to do it to. He felt that he would loose her if he didn't. We as a family tryed helping him. He would steal and lie from us but we kept hoping he would change. I finally had enough and cut all ties with him till he cleaned up for good. A few months before he died he was changing. You could see a new Jon. We were getting our Jon back. Then one stupid night he hung out with his old girlfriend and her drug dealer boyfriend. I never got to tell my brother I loved him. He died of an overdose of herion. That brought him home that night knowing he had overdosed. That did not care about him only their damn drugs. Nothing has ever happened to those kids. I sometimes wonder if they even feel a little guilt.

Michael Walton's Story

We are coming up on the Anniversary of my precious babies death from an overdose of Oxycontin, October 19, 2006. He was 28 and I miss him so much. I feel as if I still have a knife in my heart. I am just so empty and my heart is shattered, part of it missing. He was my first child, my only son and all I ever wanted. He was everything to me. I have been Recovering from my own Drug Addiction for 17 years and I was so sure he would follow me into a life of Sobriety. How could I have believed his lies when I am an addict myself. I suppose I wanted desperately to believe in the Son I loved so much. Just how am I supposed to go on without him. I should be the one dead, not him. My reason for living is gone, and I am having trouble caring about my two daughters or granchild. I just do not want to live. I remember the morning of the 19th. I was up early and it was a beautiful day. My husband called from a Trade show in Las Vegas to tell me our boy was gone, died over night from a lethal overdose. What, he never even did OXY. My husband told him when he went out that night, not to do anything stupid. He heard Mike making noises in the middle of the night but did not get up. How could my husband not get up to save our child? I wish I had been there and Mike would not be dead. The dealer called in the morning to see how Mike liked the drug, and my husband told him he died. The Dealer that night handed my boy His Death and I wish I could find him. It is probably good that I cannot or I would kill him. Mike had no tolerance for such a heavy duty drug. Oct 19th was the end of any life as I knew it. Mike had everything, Friends who loved him, a sister who is lost without him, money to do whatever he wanted, a good job, loving parents, a Mother who is Totally Destroyed... So many young people gone too soon and missed by so many. I wish I could see him once more to ask why he did not listen to me, find out the dealers name, what transpired that night. I told him so many stories about the Hell of Addiction.

Randie

Ashley's Story

Ashley. A best friend. She was unique, funny, and was very accepting to everyone. We partied alot. As time went, things got deeper. One night Ashley was injected with some oxycotton. The next day the phones were ringing. Ashley had past early hours of the morning. I often think she wouldn't have past if she wasn't hanging out with the person who injected her. Then again I think it could of been someone else too. I think it is great that people are proceeding to get drug dealers off the street. I also think kids should be talk to more. In the effort to understand the dangers. It happens very quickly and gets deep very fast. We were sophmores when this happened. I'm 21 now. I read these other stories and these kids are so young.

My Loving Son Neil's Story

On Jan 7,2008 my son Neil was dropped off at our house by his friend Doug. When he came in he was not quite himself. He sat down & stated he was very tired & didn't feel good, which was why Doug brought him home early, & he went to bed. The next day around 11 am, I went to wake him up & I found him dead in bed. I can't even begin to tell you what a horrible thing that was. Every night I close my eyes, I relive that day. Exactly what he looked like, what he felt like, what I felt like. I will never be the same. 2 years earlier he was diagnosed with a mental illness, he was in a hospital 3 x in those 2 years for medication adjustments. The medication unfortunately took his personality away. He could no longer work or read (blurred vision). His short term memory was bad. His hands trembled like he had Parkinsons disease. He struggled so hard to return to his old self. Then about 2 months before he died, we started to notice a change. He was more outgoing, more talkative, more like his old self. We thought he was adjusting to his mdications. How little did we know why. It turns out, his 'friend' Doug had started giving him Adderall. I'm sure Neil thought he had found a cure to his problem of being a zombie ( from his meds). On the eve of Jan 7,2008 Doug also shared another drug with Neil ( we don't know for sure what drug, either Oxycotton,Methadone, etc) that interacted with the Adderall & other meds that were ordered by his doctor. The combination of drugs caused Neil's heart/lungs to stop. BUT, if his 'friend' had taken Neil to the hospital, or told me Neil was sick from something he had taken, MAYBE Neil would still be alive. It turns out, there were a few other friends & family members who knew Neil had started taking other drugs, other then regular medications. No one had the courage to step forward & try to help. Doug has had 2 more children, total 5, his life goes on. I am living in hell. So if you know some one who needs help, who can't help themself, PLEASE step forward. Don't stand by & watch.

Ryan's Story

My brother Ryan was a beautiful person inside and out. He loved to work out. People told him he looked like George Clooney and he went with it. He mastered the smile and wink and was never short on ladies. He loved to watch sportscenter with my son. He came from a white upper middle class family and attended private schools. When he went away to college, we, his family, told him to stay away from the fraternities. He told us no way would he join a fraternity... not his style. A few weeks later he came home and told us he changed his mind and joined a fraternity. One night at a fraternity party one of his "brothers", someone who took an oath to watch out for a fellow brother, offered Ryan heroin for the first time. Ryan said yes and instantly became a heroin addict. One night while he was home for vacation, he overdosed. He was unconscious, he would only take one breath every thirty seconds or so and i couldn’t wake him up. We called 911 and they came but we had managed to revive him before then. They checked him out and declared him fine. The police let him off with a warning because "he seemed like a great kid". Ryan later decided to change schools so he could live at home and be away from his drug using friends.. He decided to major in accounting and got a job at an accounting firm and was very excited about his future as an accountant. It didn’t take him long to find a different group of friends who use drugs. He was arrested countless times and spent more time in jail than in college. He went to rehab countless times but the lure of heroin was always more powerful than any rehab or jail stint. He always went back to his lover, heroin. When my second son was born i took him to jail so that Ryan could see him for the first time. Seeing my brother tear up and reach for my son only to have his hands stopped by the glass that separated us broke my heart. Shortly before he died he was staying at a sober living facility. While there he had a dirty pee and was arrested for the last time.  Because of the overcrowding of the jail systems, Ryan only served 2 weeks of his last sentence and was released to do a work study program. They sent him to live at home with no supervision and access to a car. He had no curfew. Two days before he died, he told my mom that he had hit rock bottom and wanted to find God. Two days later he overdosed on heroin for the last time. My mother found him dead on his bedroom floor at five a.m. Ten years after he first became a heroin addict, he was dead. He was only 27. His funeral was the hardest day of my life. Heroin knows no race, religion or economic status.  It is an equal opportunity killer.

Jamie

Daniel Mahlke's Story

My son fought addiction from the time he was 15. It started out like many others probably do. Some might say innocent stuff at first and then it escalated. Looking back I think that each time he burned a bridge and disappointed those that he wanted to please so much, he would feel so bad about himself that he would unknowingly make himself for vulnerable to the next temptation. Heroin finally took his life in April of this year at the age of 31 in Portland OR on his first use after being clean for over two years. I realize that Daniel wasn't a teen when he finally fell prey to those out there who make a living off our children, but he was still my baby boy to me. In hind sight I wish I could have known more and done more when he was at an age where I could possibly have changed the outcome and made a difference. You will have friends say "you just have to take comfort in knowing that you did everything you could". Did I? I use to think so, but I'm not sure anymore. For those of you out there with children who are at risk or struggling with addiction, don't give up. No one has a better chance of helping them than you do. Hug em and love em with more power and conviction than the drugs do. To those of us who have already lost, let’s get involved with something like this and hope that we can make a difference for someone else. Bless you all.

Gary Mahlke

Chrissy's Story

 My beautiful daughter died March 17, 2008 from a mixture of heroin and cocaine.  She spent the last year of her life in jail. she wrote the judge to please help her and send her right into a rehab but he chose to release her and let her go back to the only life she had become accustomed to drugs.  She dreamed of being a teacher someday but that never happened. I miss her more than words can say. When I found out she started taking drugs with the guy she lived with my husband and I did everything we could to get him arrested but to no avail.  The police said he never had anything on him when they checked him. I think what you are doing is great I only wish they could have stopped the drug dealer who sold the drugs to my daughter. I can only hope and pray that the drug dealers od themselves and die.  Anyone who has a loved one on drugs should think about going to an anr-a-non meeting. They really helped me understand drug addiction.

Mom

George's Story

When George was in high school, he had been arrested with possession of Marijuana. When he did his rehabilitation I felt that he had learned his lesson and was no longer involved in drugs. In 2000 he left WY and went to live with his dad in Sandy, UT. He worked during the summer for his brother-in-law. On October 25, 2000 I received a phone call saying George had committed suicide. According to the reports we received after his death, he had been heavily involved in drugs while he was there and nobody sensed there was any problem. I had spoken to George two weeks earlier he seemed as though there was nothing wrong. He told me about his job and how they had just taken a vacation to the Grand Canyon. The night I spoke to him there was something telling me to ask him to come home, but I didn't. Apparently a couple of nights before his death he had gone to a party and had used several drugs together. They had an extreme adverse effect and he could not handle the roller coaster they put him on. I have felt so guilty all of these years because I never did anything to help him. After his death I didn't pursue anything in finding more information about who he was involved with or who was at this party. I guess deep in my heart I was scared of who or what I might find. One of the biggest gifts George had was his kindness and gentle nature towards others who were less fortunate than he was. He had a smile that would lighten a room. It has been eight years this month that he was taken away from us and the pain is still as though it happened yesterday. I miss him so much. THANK YOU SO MUCH for standing up and being brave enough to put those monsters away. I know that God only loans our children to us, but we as parents should not have to bury them.

Liz

Jeremy Reilly's Story

My son was only 27 when he overdosed on methadone. He had battled the demons (that is what I call drugs because they are just that demons!) for a few years and we thought he had gotten them out of his system almost a year ago. He left behind a wonderful daughter named Isabella and she was the love of his life. We (Jeremy's mom (my exwife and still good friend), myself, and my wife) are giving Isabella a loving life full of happiness and smiles since she will no longer be able to see her daddy again. A little background of my son... He married a girl.  When she got pregnant and he thought it was the best thing to do. When she gave birth he brightened to the point of almost beaming.  His wife, I do believe got Jeremy more involved with drugs than he had been before in his life.  She left Jeremy when Isabella was only a year old and never again had anything to do with Jeremy's life.  In May of this past year she came back into our lives and turned it upside down with pain and torment.  She is a drug addict on meth,heroine, cocaine, and whatever else she can stick in her body.  She again left and came back to our lives in August when it was time for Isabella's birth day. Jeremy had been taking care of Isabella for the past six months and doing a great job as a daddy. When his wife came back in August his life spiraled again and this time there was no coming back from it. He died of a methadone overdose on September 11, 2008. I wish there was a way to put the dealers in the same situation that they put people into. Let them see the pain and hardships that come with drugs. Let them see the headstones that have to be placed on the graves of the dead, and most of all let them see into the eyes of the PARENTS who had to bury their only son or daughter. I do believe in an eye for an eye and would like nothing more than to see dealers and pushers face a group of us that drugs have destroyed! I do not believe that Jeremy was the only victim in this!

Jim Reilly

James Stallings' Story

Jim fought the disease of addiction for 21 years. He overdosed on heroin and alcohol at age 35 in 2003. He never took the disease lightly and had many great years enjoying a good life. Heroin came much later in his battle and destroyed it all. The pain of rehab after rehab... well, it was hell. I never left his side nor did I support anything but his recovery. Today I am part of a very large group of parents whose children also lost their battle with this disease. In Jim's memory and in memory of all our beloved children, we distribute wristbands that say "No Shame or Blame - Just Love." Hate the disease; love the person. God bless all who have this disease and those who love them. Where there is life, there is hope. Don't give up; everyone matters.

Barbara Allen

Vic Kate

My girlfriend Kate was 17 when she died in July of 2006, it was the summer before out senior year. We were together almost 3 years and I knew she was on heroin.  I knew because I was in it as well.  Unlike all the stories I just read she didn’t die of overdosing.  I was at home watching tv waiting for her to get off work, and when her mom called asking if I had seen her, I knew something was wrong.  I was told that she left work to have a smoke.  Well make a long story short I found her at 5 am the next morning.  She hung herself in an abandoned house we used to party at. After her autopsy they confirmed that the toxicology report that she had heroin in her system and probably used right before she hung herself. This has sobered me up and I have been clean since July 27 2006.

Matthew